Yesterday one of my treasured clients — let’s call her Catherine — returned for her 39th visit in 18 months. During this time we have experienced many ah-hahs together as she gradually transformed herself. She has become an articulate spokesperson for this somatic work we share together — the Feldenkrais Method and Bones for Life. These days she often explains what’s going on as well or better than I can, and I find her company an absolute joy. Although she is ‘the client’ and I ‘the practitioner,’ Catherine and I are sharing a mutual journey.
So, back to yesterday… She had already made profound changes in her posture, mobility and comfort level. She had also become a far more self-confident person, much to her surprise and that of her family members. When she first arrived at my door she was apprehensive and I gradually learned that she was apprehensive in many circumstances, especially when something new or unexpected happened. When she first arrived, Catherine was not likely to embrace new things without a great deal of forethought and verification from authority figures whom she trusted. I think it’s fair to say that she felt vulnerable in many ways in her life. Now, after consistently learning about herself through these profound somatic methods, she is feeling and projecting a very different kind of attitude — a different self-image.
When things get rough at work, when situations arise which would have previously produced high levels of anxiety — she now takes more of a watchful point of view, observing the circumstances but not being so drawn in. She is much more confident in her physicality and tries new things that would have been quite out of her reach just a short time ago. As she puts it, “This work has changed the way I relate to my everyday life. I realized that I do have choices — certainly with my body – but also with my emotions. I can choose to be angry, or I can choose to just let it go, to worry about it or let it go. I have choices as to how I react. Now when something goes wrong, I just relax about it. That’s so not like me at all! I usually worry, worry, worry. The big changes in my body are related to everything else. I’m not panicking over little things any more.”
So much progress and victory already achieved, and yet, yesterday she had another exciting breakthrough. 30 years ago she had a brain tumor removed, and the surgery compromised her vision fairly dramatically. In our session together yesterday, she became crystal clear about something which has been limiting her movement and her self-concept ever since. She realized, on her own, how the traumas she experienced as a result of that surgery had effected not only her sight, but her entire way of being in the world. And, just like that, she saw it all — the compensating, the ways she has limited herself, the increased tension levels, the cautiousness — and just as quickly, she began to let go of it. In the midst of this amazing set of revelations, Catherine voiced what was going on inside: “I’m concentrating on watching rather than on doing.” This kind of subtle awareness may be her greatest victory of all.
Congratulations Catherine! I can’t wait to see what happens next. Thanks for letting me be a part of your life!
